THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEARING MY BODY AND LISTENING TO IT
Hearing the word “yoga” can mean different things depending on the ears of the person hearing it. Depending on which side of the internet you’re on, you may have heard things that are negative or even labeled as demonic. I’m not here to debate that today. What I am here to do is share what yoga has offered me.
Since becoming an ILLfluencer, I’ve shared a variety of topics through this blog. I’ve been open about my experiences living with MS alongside my work as a yoga instructor. I’m a firm believer that transparency helps others feel seen and sometimes gives them the language to narrate their own experiences. In a previous blog, I talked about the reality that strength isn’t always available when living with a chronic illness. Sometimes “every woman” simply isn’t in me that day. What I’m continuing to learn is that my body often sends signals long before I reach that point of complete shutdown.
In my work as a yoga instructor and therapist, I teach people how to listen to their bodies so they can recognize warning signs before the shutdown that can happen when those signals are ignored. Yet sometimes I still find myself falling short of taking heed to the warning signs my own body gives me, especially during what I’ve come to recognize as a pre-flare.
Recently, I’ve noticed how easy it can be to normalize discomfort when you live with MS. Pain, fatigue, and other symptoms can become such a regular part of the experience that they begin to feel less like warnings and more like background noise. I’m often asked questions like, “Is there anything you can do to prevent the flare?” or “Do you know what triggers it?” The truth is, I’m not sure that I have a clear answer to either of those questions. I’m not even sure there is one single answer.
What I have noticed, though, is a pattern. For me, it often feels like I experience some version of a flare seasonally at least once a year. I’m still learning how to define what a flare even means for my body. Sometimes it’s manageable. Other times it’s not. The pattern, however, is usually the same. A symptom here and there … until suddenly it feels like everything all at once. The sequence itself isn’t new, yet I still find myself being forced to listen instead of being open to listening and giving myself a fighting chance.
Yoga, for me, has been about learning how to slow down enough to notice what my body is saying before it has to demand my attention. Listening to the body is a practice, not a perfect science. Living with MS means my body will sometimes speak quietly and other times scream for my attention. The work is learning to respond sooner instead of waiting until I’m forced to. Some days I get it right. Other days I don’t. But each time I return to the practice of listening, I give myself another opportunity to move through this journey with a little more awareness and care.
Sometimes the goal isn’t controlling the flare. Sometimes it’s learning to hear the body before it has to shout.
