The holiday season has a way of making everything feel important.
The gatherings. The traditions. The travel. The shopping. The cooking. The people you want to spend time with and, if we are being honest, a few obligations you probably would have skipped if anyone had actually asked you.
Living with Multiple Sclerosis has taught me that my body does not care what is on the calendar. A busy season does not suddenly give me unlimited energy, and waiting until I am completely exhausted before giving myself permission to slow down is not a strategy.
Rest should not only happen after we have pushed ourselves too far.
For those of us living with chronic illness, I think one of the most useful things we can do is consider our capacity before making the commitment. Instead of automatically saying yes and figuring out how to survive it later, pause long enough to ask yourself a few questions:
Do I actually want to do this? Do I realistically have the capacity for it? What will saying yes require from me before and afterward? Is there a different way I can participate that works better for me?
Sometimes the answer will still be yes. Go enjoy yourself! Sometimes it might mean attending dinner but skipping the activity afterward, asking someone else to host, traveling a day early so you have time to recover, or simply deciding to sit this one out.
That is not allowing chronic illness to control your life. It is making intentional decisions about how you use your energy.
As a life transitions coach living with MS, I talk a lot about capacity because constantly operating beyond it eventually comes at a cost. Learning to recognize what you have available and making decisions accordingly is an important form of self-leadership.
And that includes rest.
You do not have to completely deplete yourself before your need for rest becomes legitimate. You do not have to finish everything first. You certainly do not have to prove that you have done enough to deserve it.
This holiday season, make room for the people, traditions, and experiences that matter to you, but make room for yourself too.
Rest is not the reward for successfully pushing past your limits. It is one of the strategies that helps you protect them.
