THE MYTH OF GETTING BACK TO NORMAL
After my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, I spent a lot of time thinking about when things would go back to normal. When my energy would return, when I could get back to the hustle and grind, and when I could feel confident in my future again. More than anything, I wanted life to stop feeling so foreign to me.
I treated “normal” like a destination. As if finding the right medication, routine, or supplements, I thought I would eventually get there. What I did not realize at the time was that I was putting an unreasonable amount of pressure on myself to return to a version of life that no longer existed.
This wasn’t because my life was over or because I was incapable (although I felt that way at times). It was because finally knowing that I was living with MS forced me to come to terms with a reality I never planned.
I think many of us living with chronic illness get stuck comparing our current reality to our past one and measuring ourselves against expectations that may no longer fit. We remember how much energy we used to have and how much we could accomplish in a day. Or how little thought we had to give to things that now require planning, adjustment, and recovery time.
Constantly trying to get back to who you were before is exhausting. At some point, we have to ask ourselves different questions than “When will I get back to ‘normal’?”. What if the goal is not ‘getting back to normal’? What if it’s creating a new normal?
One that honors my health instead of fighting against it.
One that respects my capacity without convincing me to play small or push when I need to rest.
One that makes room for ambition, rest, joy, and growth at the same time.
Thinking in terms of a new normal that honored both my goals and my current reality changed everything for me. Instead of focusing on what I had lost, I started paying more attention to what I was building. A life that looked different from what I originally planned, but one that could still be meaningful, fulfilling, and aligned with what mattered most to me. Different did not have to mean worse.
If you find yourself chasing your old normal, consider asking yourself a few questions:
What is working for me right now?
What expectations need to be updated?
What am I holding onto that no longer serves me?
What support would help me navigate this season more effectively?
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is stop measuring ourselves against who we used to be and start getting curious about who we are becoming. A diagnosis changes many things, but it does not take away your ability to build a life you love. It may simply require that you build it differently than you imagined.
