RELEASE THE NEED TO BE EASY TO CARE FOR

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned not to require much. We embodied the belief: “I don’t ask for much. I don’t require much.” For years, I carried an unspoken rule: Be easy to care for. It wasn’t something anyone said out loud, but I felt it.

Every time I apologized for needing to rest, canceled plans because my body wouldn’t allow me to, or tried to minimize my needs so others wouldn’t be burdened, I was shrinking. Shrinking in this way almost feels noble. There is a fear of letting others down or not being who everyone expects you to be, especially if you are often the one who shows up.

I have always felt independent, capable of handling life on my own. After my diagnosis, I carried that independence with pride, and I also carried the additional rule of being easy to care for. For a long time, I believed that being convenient and easy to care for was what made me lovable, worthy, or acceptable. Part of this was proving that nothing about me had changed. It was important that I felt I was still the person I had always been; reliable and capable, even as my body and life shifted.

If you live with MS, lupus, NMOSD, or any chronic condition that asks you to navigate energy, fatigue, or symptoms differently than others, you might understand exactly what I mean. Even beyond chronic illness, many of us have been conditioned to apologize for the space we take, the care we need, or the pace we move at.

Here is the truth I have learned. Needing care, needing rest, needing space does not make you difficult. It does not automatically make you a burden just because you notice it or imagine it might be. It makes you human. Honoring what your body and mind need is a practice of self-respect. You do not need permission, and you certainly do not need to apologize for what is out of your control.

As a new year begins, I am leaning into this truth more intentionally. I am choosing to show up for myself first, to honor my needs without apology, and to practice giving myself the care and space I have been minimizing for so long. This is not about changing who I am or shrinking to fit someone else’s comfort. It is about reclaiming my right to inhabit my life fully and unapologetically.

This year, I am practicing asking for what I need, setting boundaries, and taking up space without shrinking or overexplaining. I am learning that honoring my needs is not a burden to anyone else. It is essential to my well-being. 2026 is not about making myself easier or smaller. It is about showing up fully, respecting my limits, and stepping into the year with confidence, knowing that I have the right to be fully seen, fully heard, and fully honored. I hope you do too!