FIGHTING FOMO: CHOOSING REST EVEN WHEN EVERYONE GETS IT

During a recent podcast interview that I was featured on, I was asked the question "what is the difference between Tiana pre and post diagnosis. Honestly, that’s still a hard question for me. There's a huge part of me that still struggles to name what’s changed.

I even quoted my brother who once said "You’d never know Tiana has MS because she moves like it doesn't exist.” In theory, that sounds like a  compliment. I didn’t take offense. Now when I sit with it, I realize there are moments where I still push myself past my capacity trying to preserve who I was pre-diagnosis.

This became crystal clear on  a recent girls trip that was a  five-day, four-night cruise.  Pre-MS Tiana  loved to travel. Post diagnosis Tiana? Traveling is almost guaranteed to pull my fatigue to the surface. Dont get me wrong, I had the time of my life. I  enjoyed every moment with my friends. However,  on day 4,  the full days, late nights, drinks and endless activities caught up with me. 

While we were sitting poolside, it all hit me at once. Everything in me said “take a nap”. While everything in my head said “don’t leave! You’ll miss out!”.  FOMO otherwise known as the fear of missing out,  is real.  Even as adults, even with amazing friends who understand, and especially when you’re living with a chronic illness. There’s grief in what you want to do versus what you can do.

I listened to my body. Well, sort of. I didn’t leave right away. I napped at the table instead. My friends didn’t pressure me to go back to the room because they sensed I didn’t want to  and that was completely okay because it made me feel like I had more autonomy. It was their first time seeing me in a vulnerable, low-energy moment like that, and I think they were figuring out how to support me in real time, without making me feel like I had to leave.

Eventually, when my mood started shifting, I knew it was time. I went back to my room, gave myself a real break, and reset. I wasn’t 100%, but I gave my body what it needed to continue the rest of the trip. I don’t regret how I handled it, though I recognized my body needed me to listen sooner.

Lately, I’ve talked a lot about body awareness. A huge part of that is acceptance  even when it clashes with FOMO. How I felt had nothing to do with how my friends treated me and everything to do with me and how hard it is to accept that I can’t always move at the same pace. Reflecting with my friends afterward, they shared how much they now understand what travel takes out of me  and that made me feel truly seen.

I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only one grieving who they were before MS showed up. My hope is that you feel seen in this too  and that you give yourself permission to fight FOMO by choosing rest when your body needs it.